Categories
science writing

Lab Rats – I so wanted it to be good

They finally set a sitcom in a research lab.

The idea is hardly original – I myself submitted a script for a lab sitcom (WHITECOATS) to the BBC and Channel 4 in 2004 only to have it a) rejected and b) ignored, respectively. A German TV producer got excited about it and pitched it to some German TV channel. I never heard from her again…

Well, if the brilliant Richard Herring gets his sitcom ideas rejected by the BBC then a total unknown writer who hasn’t even done the requisite ten years on the comedy circuit is NOT going to get taken seriously. I get that, I even agree. (And of course my script was the work of a screenwriting and comedy novice…)

I wrote WHITECOATS because I wanted to see a sitcom set in a lab. There wasn’t one, so I took a DIY attitude. Luckily for me it didn’t get taken up; I moved on to writing thrillers for children and wound up being paid what I’m guessing is more than a novice TV writer.

So LAB RATS – should have worked for me. I love Chris Addison in “The Thick of It”. He’s sweet and he’s a Manc, like me. I loved Geoffrey Perkins as Ford Prefect in the radio version of “The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”. I watched both the clips released prior to the show’s airing and laughed out loud.

But I’m afraid I watched with dismay yesterday. I’m not going to tear it apart – too many TV reviewers are doing that. I AM going to keep watching, but from such a beginning I don’t see that it ever reach any decent height. Unless they rejig the formula radically as was done with “Men Behaving Badly”.

The best thing I can say is that it’s sort of Goodies humour, but the Goodies has dated too. And the other thing I can say is that some of their conversations, sad and geeky though they were, are not far from the stupid kinds of things I remember we did talk about when I worked in a lab. The two clips of LAB RATS that made me laugh are here.

Okay, I’ve criticised another writer. Now I’ll offer myself up for the same treatment. Here is a snifter of my pilot script for WHITECOATS – the four-scene sample I entered in the BBC New Talent contest. Obviously I didn’t get anywhere or else I would never have written The Joshua Files.

Categories
ice shock nostalgia raves writing

One of those rambling posts about the vagaries of life

I am doing blogging all wrong.

I’ve been reading other people’s blogs and I can see that mine is Not Quite Right.

Well I’m going to do a post that’s more typische. Part rant, part rave, part diary, part confessional.

Rant: Where to start? I’m not much of a ranter over things that don’t directly concern me and over which I have zero control. Not saying there’s anything wrong with ranting, in fact I seem to have voluntarily surrounded myself with people who love a rant; my daughter, my husband, my agent to name only three. Maybe that’s why no ranting. Ranters need to be listened to. And that, it seems, is increasingly my role.

However, I did recently get slightly involved in the age-ranging debate about putting labels like 5+, 7+, 11+ on children’s books, although only in the private e-space of a members-only online writers’ club. But actually, meh. The businesswoman in me dislikes the attempt to stop a perfectly legitimate marketing initiative. Last time I looked publishers sell the books and do the deals. Ifnwhen the sales director at my publishers phones me up and asks me to make sales calls to sell my books to the major chains, then maybe I’ll start to feel I have any place telling her how to run the business.

Rave: Now what I AM is a raver. So many things to enthuse over, so little time. Let’s just divide the things that have recently amused or fascinated me into categories.

TV: All the usual suspects for me: Battlestar Galactica continues to swoop, Lost continues to be gloriously daft-yet-compelling, still laughing over Peep Show’s use of a highly literary reference as a euphemism for erm…well I can’t better it so let’s just say ‘doing a Chesil beach’; reruns of Sex And The City. How I love Samantha. She somehow reminds me of Jessica from Pokemon’s Team Rocket.  And a surprise new addition to my highly selective TV viewing is BBC4’s US import Mad Men – set in 1960’s Madison Avenue and the cutting edge world of advertising. The men are urbane, sexist and wear natty suits; the woman are gorgeous, ambitious, under-appreciated, professionally limited and don’t complain when their bottoms get slapped in the office. Everybody smokes and all these macho men wilt the minute one of these supposedly suborbinate women turns her ravenous gaze upon one of them. You can sense the powerplay just waiting to happen. Ah the good-old-days when a pretty secretary could take a powerful man down. Mostly I enjoy the offices though. They remind me so much of my father’s set up at Mexicana de Cobre. Just good ol’ plain nostalgia.

Reading: I’m very busy writing so haven’t read much lately. I bought some books by Cornelia Funke; Inkheart and Inkspell and some books for younger readers that I’ll read to the little ‘un. I have, however, been enjoying reading The Spectator and New Scientist, which I can manage in bite-size chunks. Two Speccie articles made me laugh out loud today, one by Rod Liddle about the Eurovision Song Contest (it wasn’t political; Eastern Europeans just don’t ‘get’ decent 12-bar blues based pop music), one by Deborah Ross, but then she always makes me laugh. Right-wing intellectuals are so much funnier than left-wing ones. And therefore sexier. I’d have PJ O’Rourke over George Monbiot, any day. But then the left does have Naomi Klein. So maybe it’s gender specific?

Geekchic: Loving my Sony Vegas video editing software. Hey I never said I didn’t have some special interests.

Podcasts: The usual trio of Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s Radio5 movie review show, Melvyn Bragg’s In Our Time and the Litopia After Dark podcasts continue to equip me with the knowledge and ideas to do my job.

Music: Performance Channel is screening a Beethoven piano sonata every evening. I caught one while half asleep yesterday. It wasn’t one I knew and being on the verge of sleep was struggling to place it – Brahms? Schubert? Beethoven? It sounded very German and very wonderful. I lay there thinking about Wilhelm Meister and Marienbad and Werther and other ghosts from the past, conversations with my mother.

Diary: Well not much to report here. I have been editing book 2 of Joshua; ICE SHOCK. It’s been hard work but I finally made it through the whole script, having addressed all Editor’s notes. Now I need to write two short new sections and then do a continuity check. But I’ll do a separate post about this. And liasing closely with the publicity department at Scholastic to put things in place for a book tour starting next week. Yay!

Confessional: Well wouldn’t you like to know. I don’t dare to be open about such stuff. Would cause a rare old scandal, no doubt.

Categories
raves

The World According to LD

I am so enjoying the new series of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ on More4.

The premise for the series is as gloriously ridiculous as ever, some of the story concepts so featherweight as to be wholly insubstantial and yet still I laugh louder than at any other current comedy show (and it’s not like I’m not trying, I have started watching three other new comedy series this year).

Here’s Larry David (LD) doing his trademark ‘hard stare’. It puts me in mind of Paddington bear, who also had a famous hard stare.

It takes huge skill to make comedy out of ‘nothing’, but Seinfeld and 5 series of Curb don’t seem yet to have exhausted this guy. Mind you that’s not what some people are saying…some think that this 6th series shows signs of tiring. Well maybe series 6 hasn’t yet come up with anything as roll-on-the-floor-laughingly funny as ‘The Doll’ or ‘The Grand Opening’, but when the notion of comedy based on nothing-or-not-much has taken hold in lots of new comedy shows, CYE proves that Larry David is still…The Master.

All hail. Larry, you are untouchable! We’re not worthy, etc, etc.

Categories
raves

Hello world…

Being a writer of fiction I find that my natural propensity to daydream has now become a completely justifiable way to spend my time. I even get to give it diary time:

Daydream over a primo soy milk mocha in Summertown Costa.

I don’t read newspapers or print media much: to quote Comic Book Guy from a Simpson’s episode I recently glimpsed, “I get my news from the Internet, like any normal person.”  I don’t watch mainstream TV since we got SkyPlus – we program everything and then watch, often 3/4 episodes at a time, months after they were aired. (I haven’t seen the last 6 episodes of Life on Mars or Doctor Who yet…)…and I certainly don’t watch the news on TV. For us, SkyPlus has completed removed any notion of watching TV at a certain time (i.e. when your show is on, or when the news is actually on).

YouTube and blogs have eroded my attention span whilst on the computer, so that I am now addicted to short entertainment breaks during the working day.

I read The Spectator once a week, but skip the book reviews of very intellectual books that I’m unlikely to read, of art exhibitions I’m unlikely to attend, of operas and plays I’m almost certainly not going to see. And the bridge column… And since the Speccie stopped doing the one page review of the week’s news, I have only the vaguest notion of what is going on in the world.

Really I’m no different to when I was a scientist. I had my head down in science then, like most scientists. It’s a very intensive life; no matter how hard you work at it you’re forever behind in your reading. And I don’t mean about the real world. Forget that – who has the time? I mean the tiny field of your expertise. If you’re lucky it’s a matter of reading 5 or 6 high-impact papers per month. If you’re in some mega-trendy field that could be more like 20.

Once in a while I plug back into the world and it’s a revelation.

This week I watched BBC1 for a whole evening. I read a whole Saturday supplement of a broadsheet. I read Cosmopolitan cover to cover. The things I saw, heard and read! Pop music and the US elections and all the Big Ideas of 2007…fashion, makeup…and so much more.

I had this sudden flash of insight. For a few seconds the world made a brilliant kind of sense. I felt engaged – maybe once again – to the world that I normally wander through in a bewildered daze. I began to formulate ideas, felt the incipient scratchings of understanding…

And then it vanished, all of it, every scrap of connectedness.

Italo Calvino wrote a short story about this feeling. So I guess it’s not just me. Maybe we all wander around in this haze of awareness.

So who are all those people who walk around so confidently, who seem to know exactly what’s going on, how this all works and where to go for this’n’that and the other?

Is there maybe some podcast I can download that’ll scrape everything essential together; a quick guide for the bewildered, for fantasists like me?

Categories
raves videos

Believe It Or Not…

I’m considering changing my phone message to our own version of George Costanza’s (of Seinfeld) Believe It Or Not.

We did this a few years ago and it was great – it annoyed everyone who called us. I particularly remember hearing my mother-in-law tutting and clucking with annoyance. In those days I occasionally got phone calls from friends, but nowadays most people realise that I don’t like the phone and they write me emails or send texts.

So all that’s left are the telemarketers…

For those who don’t know and love Seinfeld, here’s the clip:

(my favourite bit comes when George is listening to it second time round, hears the line ‘where could I be?’ and shrugs, askance…)