In the movie, which is based on the non-fiction book “The Accidental Billionaires”, we watch 19-year old Mark Zuckerman (played by Jesse Eisenberg) take an idea for a Harvard U based social networking site, and run off with it, building a site that would extend far beyond Harvard; first to other Ivy League Colleges, then to Stanford in California, then to Oxbridge, then all Unis, then the World.

Which is when you and me and most of our friends started using FaceBook.

Did Zuckerman steal the idea? Yes, insofar as someone told him about a great chair they’d imagined, and then he went off and built a chair himself. The blueblood Winklevoss twins and their partner made the mistake of telling a smart geek about their flashy idea, without tying him in to a contract, etc. Well that’s a tad naive. Back in the day when we started our IT company, we didn’t even talk about an idea we were serious about without getting someone to sign a confidentiality agreement.

Anyway, technicalities of the plot aside, what interested me was how screenwriter Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing) chose to tell the story.

He chose to start the movie with an incident that Zuckerman claims is fictional – the dumping of arrogant, pushy Mark by a lovely young WASP girlfriend. In his jilted rage, allegedly, Zuckerman sets up Facemash, a Harvard-based site for comparing the hotness of girls from a bank of photos pulled from the Harvard online ‘facebooks’ (books of photos of all undergrads). The site crashes Harvard’s server and lands Zuckerman in hot water with the administration and outraged ladies of the campus. Facemash is a fail, but brings Zuckerman to the attention of the Winklevoss twins, who need a bright young programmer to build their site, Harvard Connection.

Sadly these gentlemen underestimate Zuckerman’s own drive to control his efforts, his desire to build something awesome (he admits he doesn’t know what he’s building but he knows it is cool), and they overestimate the importance of a verbal agreement between Gentlemen of Harvard.

But as a motivation, by Hollywood standards that is a bit thin.

So Sorkin adds something else – a subplot designed to suggest that Zuckerman is driven mainly by an urge to be in the Posh Boys Club. Now the kid seems plenty posh enough to me – he went to Philips Exeter Academy and Harvard, for goodness sakes. (OK, that might be presuming; maybe he was on a scholarship, who knows.) When Zuckerman doesn’t get into the Posh Boys Club (it had a name but I’ve forgotten it. It’s something far less exclusive than the infamous Bullingdon Club at Oxford Uni of which David Cameron, George Osborne and Boris Johnson were members) – he is so consumed with a desire to Prove Himself that he steals the social networking site idea, creates FaceBook, and eventually even fiddles his own business partner out of the 30% of the multi-billion concern that is rightfully his for lending penniless Zuckerman the princely sum of $19,000.

Now there’s a motivation that we can all get behind! Muaha ha ha, evil young entrepreneur driven by pride and jealousy.

Zuckerman, who of course few ordinary people really care about, what with him being super-rich, has objected to the portrayal. At an address to Startup School in Stanford he concluded that Hollywood writers, “can’t wrap their head around the idea that someone might build something because they like building things.”

Well, I bet they can. Even, maybe especially, Aaron Sorkin. Hollywood is the planet’s most effective mass-communicator. If Hollywood doesn’t make movies about geniuses who want to build something terminally Cool, it’s because they know that in reality most ordinary people, who are the majority of film goers, cannot identify with such a motive.

Entrepreneurs cannot ever expect to get a fair hearing from Hollywood, because they do something that by definition is exceptional. They do what they do for reasons that are not always easy to fathom. Their success involves so much luck and factors that were beyond their control, that it’s impossible to map the clear route to success that others might emulate.

Complicated motives and the hand of fortune don’t make a good screenplay. The truth about almost any business success would leave 95% of filmgoers baffled.

So Sorkin did his job – he found an ordinary human motivation – sexual jealousy and societal envy – in a complicated tale.

It’s probably nothing to do with the truth, but the truth rarely makes a good, clean story.

Okay, time for some fun on someone else’s ARG after all the work on the DESCENDANT…

As-you-know-Bob, the 2012 movie from Roland Emmerich of awesome STARGATE fame, is due out later this year. Emmerich is also known for his disaster movies INDEPENDENCE DAY and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

Mmmm, apocalypse. He wants his apocalypse now. There, that’s the apocalypse jokes over with.

2012 will be another disaster movie, with the good old Mayan Long Count final date as the prediction for this movie’s end-times. It shares that and at least one other thing with The Joshua Files: the notion that the 2012 scenario is detailed in a still-to-be-found ‘fifth’ codex of the ancient Maya.

In the 2012 movie though, we’re cutting to the chase: codex, prophetic doom, disaster, one hero to save his family. Y punto. Oh and John Cusack as the lead. John Cusack! Could it be more perfect? I LOVE HIM! In my mind, he’s Jackson Bennett. (This won’t mean anything to you unless you are playing THE DESCENDANT ARG)

Okay so let’s play.

First, watch the teaser trailer for 2012. Fully awesome! Now isn’t that the way you would like to die…watching that terrifying wave washing over the Himalayas? It sure beats dying in a bed.

Then look at the two linked sites: This Is The End and The Institute for Human Continuity

At This Is The End you can watch nutty old Charlie Frost, a character played by Woody Harrelson, ranting on about the end is nigh on his cable TV show. Brilliant!

At the marvellously-named The Institute for Human Continuity you can watch a video report of the discovery of a fifth codex. I also recommend Joshua fans to look at the IHC’s section on E.A.R.T.H Initiative for a round-up of general 2012 hokiness. It’s a big-budget version of the 2012 page on DESCENDANT in-game site Archaeologyconspiracies.com. So definitely check it out!

They don’t seem to mention the Galactic Superwave though. Huh.

The principle of the Institute for Human Continuity is this: when the apocalypse arrives, we’re mostly doomed. There will be a lottery to choose survivors. You can take a number right now. Oooh, pick me!

Some snooty sci-fi folk have criticised this movie’s marketing campaign for being cheesy. But that’s just what a disaster movie requires! You can’t serve up a dish as scary as worldwide terror and doom without a side-dish of daftness. At least, you shouldn’t. Not if you want young people to enjoy it.

Re the Bourne: I enjoyed it but later realised that I’d never once really felt as though Jason was in any real peril. He’s just so ruthlessly efficient that instead of worrying about him I was admiringly thinking…no problem, Jason can handle anything.

There’s a lesson there…

Things I have done in the past three days rather than write the next, challenging chapter of Jaguar’s Realm.

(I mean, things I’m prepared to admit to in a blog)

1. Read emails about and from staff at the school where I’m a governor. Read them again, and again and again.

2. Phone people about the school where I’m a governor.
(yes I HAD to do those things but believe me, I lingered)

3. Browse for, choose and buy salsa dancing clothes and shoes from ebay.

4. Try on said salsa dancing clothes and shoes, gloat and marvel at how finally I’ve found an outfit that works for me and how light-as-a-feather the shoes are and wonder why I haven’t invested in specialist kit for my main hobby before.

5. Jump on any email from my editor about the ms for Joshua book 1.

6. Join Facebook and spend an entire day mooching around on it, looking people up, customising my content.

7. Shop at Primark to make myself feel frugal.

8. Drag my husband out for breakfast, lunch, coffee, long walks.

9. Pester my neighbour Gabby to gossip with me; he was only trying to watch the tennis but would I let him, no.

10. Practice my reggaeton moves until my insides hurt from excess abdominal wiggling.

Don’t even think that I’m running out of stuff to do. There’s still Litopia, browsing salsa music on iTunes, reading Caitlin Moran’s column in The Times (today I found out that there’s a Facebook group called ‘I Want To Be/Have Sex With Caitlin Moran When I Grow Up’, which I won’t join because she’s actually on it herself and as you’ll know if you read this blog regular-like, Caitlin is trying to exert pressure, by remote, on Big Brother quitters like me who’ve gone cold turkey and are trying to pretend BB isn’t on this year), baking chocolate cake.

I wish I could put movies, books or TV on that list but in truth they take just too much concentration. Don’t you think that if I could concentrate that hard I’d actually tackle this chapter head-on???

That said, here’s a list of movies I’m looking forward to failing to get in to see:

Tell No One (still haven’t managed to catch it)
Harry Potter 5
Transformers
Buy It Now
The Simpsons Movie
The Bourne Ultimatum (LOVE the Bourne!)

The one I forgot is now at number 4. I think it’s that good.

5. X2
You know the X-Men franchise takes itself pretty seriously – at least this far in its run – from the fact that it opens in Auschwitz. Ooer, dark; Frank Miller, Alan Moore territory here we come. After that it comes together very nicely as one of only 2 successful multi-protag superhero movies. A raft of terrific actors have a great time with a good screenplay.

4. The Incredibles
I remember watching this at the cinema with my daughters and being impressed at a film which could hugely entertain a pre-school child, a teen and an adult. The story structure is terrific, the pace never lets up, the humour sections are genuinely funny and not just saddo cheese-fests (I particularly loved the costume fitting). It’s not easy to write a great story that has pace, humour, always with an eye on the video game opportunity. I think The Incredibles really pulls it off. My only teentsy concern is the self-referential nature of the movie, with its commentary on the nature and perception a world in which superheroes exist. It seemed a very original twist on the superhero mythology when Alan Moore did it in ‘Watchmen’, but now seems a bit passe. Then again most people haven’t read ‘Watchmen’.

3. Spiderman
I love Tobey Maquire and have always loved Peter Parker. Green Goblin was a great villain to pick for the Spidey movie. Peter’s growing delight with his powers and the way that, despite being a superhero he only slowly dispels his nerdy-boy persona, are the stand-out bits for me. Yes, the swinging is all very good too, love the swinging and the wall-crawling.Everyone in this movie is just great, but Jonah Jameson is a special delight.

2. Superman II
I almost put this top. It’s not top of anyone else’s list, as far as I know, which makes me think; where were you people in 1980? Don’t you realise the significance to those of us who were lovelorn teens, of the moment when Clark tells Lois that he’s Superman? Their first kiss is up there with Han Solo’s kiss with Princess Leia as one of the defining movie smooches for people my age! We also get to learn more about Supe’s homeworld, see the camp wonderfulness of the exiled Kryptonians and actually worry that Superman may not win the day. The end somewhat spoils it, with Clark being allowed to get his powers again. I see that it’s called for, but basically, it’s a deus ex machina.

1. Spiderman II
It’s unusual for a sequel to be better than the first, but not uncommon in Superhero films. Why? Because the first superhero film necessarily serves up the Origin Story. We all know more or less what such a story will give us. Ordinary guy becomes extraordinary and finds that he must use his extraordinariness to help people. Big Baddie threatens the world, superhero to the rescue, problem solved. Not very interesting, so far. The surprises, threats and complications really arise in stories further along the line. Jaded superhero; superhero tempted to evil; superhero in love, etc. Spiderman II goes for an early foray into Jaded Superhero. It’s probably not a bad time for that story. You can’t really roll that one out again until the superhero is supposedly ‘past it’, as in “The Dark Knight Returns”. Doc Ock is great, ripping chunks out of walls and hurling them at people. So many classic moments of the genre, so well executed.

Didn’t make the list:
Daredevil – one of my greater movie disappointments. How was this not wonderful? Why didn’t they get Frank Miller to write it? What was with the stupid, pumping rock soundtrack? Why was Matt Murdoch not blond??? I love MM but Daredevil was baaad, and not in the good way.

Elektra – not as dreadful as people say, actually. Better than Daredevil. But again…why didn’t Frank Miller write? Why didn’t they at least use one of his Elektra stories?

Constantine – (based on Hellblazer) really good. Would put it at twelve.

Spidey 3 – cos I can’t count, but I’d put it at 7 probably, in a rejig.

Superhero Movies I’d Like To See:
The Spirit, Watchmen, a good Daredevil movie, Groo the Wanderer, The Trouble With Girls. Technically neither The Spirit, Groo nor Lester Girls have superpowers. But then neither does Batman, so fair is fair.

10. The Shadow (1994)
I like that The Shadow isn’t a victim of a horrible accident or scientific experiment gone wrong. I don’t quite understand where his powers come from and the film doesn’t really explain properly, which is all to the good – leaves some ambiguity. Is he some reincarnated warrior, or an immortal? Why does he change from handsome Lamont into ugly-mug Shadow? But the psychic aspect is really intriguing. The 30s-art-deco thing is done perfectly here, not overstated but consistently elegant. Alec Baldwin when he was still very hot, is deliciously inaccessible to the feisty blond sidekick who wants to get her paws on him. This movie is under-rated as far as I’m concerned. A certain amount of cheesiness is called for in superhero movies.

9. Batman Returns (1992)
Utterly classic! For Batman fans, this has it all – the scenes of Arkham Asylum – the lunatic, disfigured baddie (Penguin), the introduction of the sublime Catwoman (Michell Pfeiffer giving Julie Newmark a run for her money), and Batman before he became, as he is wont to do, a self-parody.

What is about The Bat that makes him eventually descend into bad self-parody? The new incarnation of Batman was allegedly influenced by Frank Miller, great reinventor of Brucie as a tough, angsty crusader. But by the third movie all that was forgotten and we were lurching back into Adam West territory. So now, with Batman Begins, we’re back with the Miller-esque Batman. Let’s hope it sticks. But 1992 was still a heyday for long-time Bruce Wayne fans like me.

8. Batman Begins
Comic books films grow up! said the critics. hey! Who said we wanted them to? This explores not just the origins of Batman and his early years, allegedly based on Frank Miller’s Batman Year One (and presumably Year Two, not written by Miller, but which introduces Ras Al Guhl to the early-Batman lore). Quasi serious and quite violent action movie. Brilliantly explores the psychological dimension of Bruce Wayne’s incarnation as the Batman, in a similar way to the best Batman comics.

7. X-Men (2000)
Now I’ll confess to never having read X-Men comics. I don’t like multi-protagonist comic books; there I’ve said it. With the exception of the brilliant Watchmen. This is my beef with Marvel. If one hero is good then two is better, seems to be the prevailing thinking. I always worry when I pick up a Daredevil that shows MM battling a few demons with the help of Spidey et al. Oh, boo, demons v the Marvel crowd, I go. So I don’t read JLA or XMen or Fantastic Four.

I prefer my superheroes to fly solo and preferably to be in big trouble, suffering. (Which is why Miller’s Daredevil is my favourite stretch of comic books stories ever)

This meant that I didn’t expect the movie of X-Men to be so damn great! Who knew?! It’s awesome. If I had time I’d go back and read the comics. But I don’t. And now I’m probably too old to properly enjoy them.

Part of the movie’s brilliance are the performances of Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman, amongst others. But the writing and effects are also terrific.

6. Superman (1978)
People forget how amazing this was. It was fabulous! Christopher Reeve made it look simple to be goofy Clark Kent and Superman too, but it was a genius performance. And Marlon Brando as Jor-El, the whole Krypton thing, Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor. This is where great superhero movies all began.

It’s a hilarious line, intentionally so. But I know people who actually think like that – for real. Well, one person at least (and she’s Spanish too). imagine living your entire life with that kind of anxiety. Obviously, you can’t GO to the movies. That would mean spending a shocking amount of money for something that you’ve already paid for, if you own a TV.

Which is why I’ve decided to spend the afternoon giving some serious thought to the Top Ten Superhero Films. As a pastime, it’s almost guilt-free – I don’t even have to hunt for a carbon-offsetting website onto which to download my guilt. If I decide I want to watch one of these movies, I can download one or walk to the local video rental place. Somehow I’ll have to live with the guilt of the electricity that I use to play the DVD, or the computer I’m using to write this blog.

I mean, it’s not even solar-powered. Just shocking.

But what a movie! It has romance, massive action including Green Goblin (2) on his board, two laugh-out-loud-for-ages-funny comedy scenes, pathos; heck, it’s got it all!

In the tradition of Marvel superhero comics, the climactic scenes feature a titanic battle between the improbably-abled, unfortunate victims of scientific-experiments-gone-horribly wrong. In this case, that would be Green Goblin (2), Spidey, Venom and Sandman (not Neil Gaiman’s…the Marvel one).

Those clashes-of-titans can be a a bore to read for the ‘mature’ comic book reader, but heck, they look good onscreen. What makes it much, much better here is that, true to the recent vogue in some comic books – since the early days of Frank Miller and Alan Moore – the superheroes are motivated solely by human tragedies and personal demons. The whole story is constructed on the relationships between the characters.

And no sign of a Pinky-and-the-Brain plot, whatsoever.

(Pinky: ” Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”
The Brain: “The same thing we do every night, Pinky – Try to take over the world!”)

PS. I’ve just remembered Superman 2. (Old-skool Superman, the one when Supe gives up his superpowers so that he can ahem! Lois Lane). Is Spidey 3 better…? Hmm, tough call.

Move AWAY from the computer. Get your purse/jacket/wallet and head out to see it. Right now.

This is the best children’s movie I’ve seen for years and not only made me cry but is beautifully adapted for the screen, and captures perfectly what it is like to be a child who lives in a make-believe world. It wasn’t just the storyline that made me cry, it was being reminded so sharply of what it feels like, as a child, to lead a younger sibling into a magical world you’ve created just for them.

Ah, but you’re writing children’s books now, you may say. You’ll be doing that for your readers.

It isn’t the same. Writing is hard, technical work. But as a kid I once led my baby brother into an old, overgrown and walled orchard at sunset and convinced him that the apples were enchanted, that we had to cross the orchard without looking back ONCE. I swear…as we crept across, my brother trembling with excitement, in the corner of my eye I saw those trees move.

So I had to dash out to see “The Painted Veil”, which made our Deborah weep, apparently. I was one of the only people aged under 50 in the cinema, so I could tell right away that it was a Serious Proper Film for Grown-Ups and not like the usual eye-candy I usually go to see. (Art cinema, moi?)

Actually it wasn’t very arty at all, which explains the multiplex distribution. Instead it was a good-old-fashioned emotional drama told really well, with no fancy footwork. I loved the screenplay, which ticked all the boxes I can remember reading in Robert McKee’s ‘Story’ as well as a pretty strong Hero’s Journey for the Naomi Watts character, Kitty. I read somewhere that in the Extreme Love Story genre the lovers actually fall into the roles of Protagonist and Antagonist. I can’t remember seeing this technique better and more subtly executed than in this film. You can keep your histrionics and your ‘Frankly-my-dear-I-don’t-give-a-damn’s; what could be more touching than two people accepting each other’s minor failings as human beings, learning who they really are and falling deeply in love?

I thought I’d get away without crying…until they played that song À la claire fontaine. Nostalgia overwhelmed me; I remembered singing that song at school in French class.

I was warned once about the soppiness of middle-age by my father. He used to stream tears at sad movies and Italian opera. As a teenager I’d watch him, all crisply dry-eyed and make some cutting remark. “Wait until you’re in your forties,” he’d say, “and there’s nothing more beautiful than crying at Italian opera.”